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Mother: "What does the cow say?"
Child: "Moo!"
Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"
Child: "Meow."
Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"
And this wide-eyed little 3 year old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba
that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her
over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
Food for Thought:
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter:
Past week's Jokes
THE INSANE OFFICE And How To Achieve It
Ways to bring a healthy level of madness to work...
1. Page yourself on the intercom (don't disguise your voice).
2. Find out where your boss shops, and buy exactly the same
outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does (This
is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender).
3. Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them what
you're doing. For example. "If anyone wants me, I'll be in the
toilet."
4. 'Hi-lite' your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your
shoes since you did this.
5. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if
they'd like fries with that.
6. Put your garbage can on your desk, and label it 'IN'.
7. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks.
8. Once everyone is over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
9. Leave the copy machine as set to reduce 200%, extra dark, A3 paper,
99 copies.
10. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally while talking to others.
11. When driving colleagues around, keep your windshield wipers running
in all weather "to keep 'em tuned up".
12. Practice making fax and modem noises.
13. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
14. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".
15. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears
and grimacing.
16. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
17. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
18. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking sound.
19. TYPE ONLY IN UPPER CASE.
20. write only in lower case.
21. dont use any punctuation either
22. Repeat the following conversation a few times: "Do you hear that?"
"What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
23. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
24. When nearly done, announce "No, wait! I messed it up," and repeat from
beginning.
25. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
26. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their
answers in a notebook.
A Southern 911 Call
